We need more hearers… Can you be one?
By M. Akhila
During a communication process, we often listen to give replies or simply for the purpose of continuing the conversation with another person. And at times, we are likely to develop our own judgements about the persons with whom we are talking to.
How often do we really listen? How much do we give ears, according to the needs of the speaker? Especially after mobile phone turned as an organ of most of us, which distracts us from the real and the nearest world to a great extent, how patient are we to spend time with another person over a mindful conversation. Be in a train station, bus station, theatre or a public event, how often do we indulge in conversation with strangers?
Also, do you feel less heard? Less understood? And you wish for a person to vent your emotions? If so, have you ever been one for another soul? There are so many questions? And the solution is quite simple. That is proper listening.
When we think about communication and becoming a super cool communicator, all those that comes into our mind are related to our speaking skills. We are mostly guided in that direction. We think that we can receive the appreciation, love and respect of other people by the way we articulate things. To a great extent, it is true. An ability to put in words the ideas, thoughts and other statements effectively is a pertinent life skill for every situation. But that alone will not ensure an all-encompassing communication experience in our life, especially in our personal life circle. For that, we need to train ourselves to give ears with a complete heart. Initially, we might need to do that voluntarily, and later it just happens like a breeze, drizzle or a sunlight that shines through a dew. And then you will get to know more about others empathetically. This will also help you gain an understanding of yourself as well. It would offer a new experience and abundant love.
A responsible listening now-a-days has its own social responsibilities as well. So many people of different generations are experiencing varying levels of depression due to uncertainties in life, unemployment, relationship issues and others. A lot of them could be taken care of by someone who could spend time to listen to them. The thought of being heard itself would be a fulfilling experience for a person who is on the brink of depression and other problems. We all possess that magic in us. The magic to act as healers. To become the pain relievers. To ease the life of others and bring back hope in them. The times demand more such healers.
In order to achieve a meaningful communication experience, let us focus on a few points.
Listen with emotions: We need to have the same feelings for others that they feel for themselves. Conversations become beautiful, especially in our closed circle when ‘I’ and the ‘other’ person melts into a single body. You must try to understand that the friend of you complaining about the failed exam or a broken relationship is having another set of thoughts than yours while listening. That empathy should reflect in the way you listen and respond, through your words as well as your body language. There should be enough compassion,which would definitely reflect on our response.
Listen with a critical mind: Another person would be talking with you for getting solution to a problem which he is not able to resolve. Sometimes it would be for gaining a second opinion or an assurance from you of what he is talking. In that case, take it seriously to respond that way. One should clearly decipher the broader lines of emotions and practicality or logic in such situations.
Listening should be for another person: : When you speak, you can take your time and make yourself clear. But be sure that while you listen, you give enough consideration for the other person to speak. Respect their time and space while doing that. In long term relations, one person dominating an individual or group while conversing or discussing or interrupting now and then would lead the other person remain silent create cracks in healthy listening. Our set of perceptions, stereotypes and judgement should not come into play while we listen to others.
Listening to interact mindfully: Do something if you really enjoy it. This is highly applicable to the process of listening. If you do not feel like involving in a conversation, let them know that you are inconvenient for the time being in a polite manner.But never fake. Do not look into your mobile phones or look disinterested while the other person speaks. There should be a commitment while you listen. Like you are accountable for the words you speak, you should also be accountable for the intentions you carry to turn out to be a good listener.
While speaking, we reveal ourselves. But through listening we are enriched with life experiences, stories and ideas from others. It adds to our knowledge and understanding of humanity and respective subject areas. Apart from all those things, every human deserves healers in their life. To be unheard is painful. The heavy weight of a person’s mind or thoughts can be lessened when they share their problems with others. When they get to know that there are several others who are like them, and there are solutions for those issues which were unknown to them till the talk, will empower them and instill confidence. This is possible only by talking with someone they find comfortable People who listen responsibly and with sensitivity.When more and more people ail in the modern times due to various reasons, we need more people to listen to them or indeed all of us. We need more healers.